When life gets in the way. Don’t you hate it? You had this awesome plan laid out, of what you wanted to do, what you want to achieve, who you eventually want to be. And then something bad happens. Or you get caught up in the day to day stuff- making dinner, exercising, running errands, even watching TV. I’ve neglected my blog because of all of those distractions. I apologize, but here you go. Here is what you missed hearing (when my life got in the way):

Been exactly 3 months and one day since surgery. I bought a road bike. I have rode up the Maroon Bells a few times and Independence Pass a few times. I sometimes have images of splattering on the ground while riding downhill pretty fast or getting hit by a car from a driver’s lack of attention to the biker off to the side of the line. That’s beside the point- I’ll save fear for another day and another blog. I surprised my mom and sisters in Chicago for Mother’s Day and spent a weekend eating, drinking and shopping. Amber was in Hawaii and I neglected PT for a week, making my knee stiff and sore, which made me realize how important PT has been for my recovery. I’ve read a book, Unbroken, and it’s the only thing that has gotten me through boring workouts on the cardio deck, when I don’t have time to get out on the bike. I babysat a 9 year old, Macy, for a week, making elaborate crafts strictly off Pinterest and took care of a 170 lb Newfoundland dog named Arlo who made babysitting a 9 year old feel like a breeze. I’ve gone through some personal stuff and spent a lot of time thinking about the rest of my life.   A lot of time pondering these questions over way too much wine with friends who are figuring it all out themselves. Spent a lot of time with a guy who makes me feel like a million dollars every day. I’ve lived a lot of life for being a girl with her life put on hold.

Surprise, Mom! What a fun night. No one knew I was coming…sneaky. 

Sweet wheels. Literally been my lifesaver- my lovely road bike.

Paper plate fish making? Too bad I had more fun doing this than Macy.

Yesterday was my three month follow up with Dr. Pevny. I popped a couple of Motrin to make sure I could get my knee to it’s fullest extension (maybe I shouldn’t admit that, is that bad?). Amber was there, doing her rounds and shadowing the doctor. We chatted about my left knee and how I was progressing really well. Since surgery, my right knee has compensated for the other. I have had knee pain in that knee for about 3 years now and it gets progressively worse with each passing week. Carrying my laundry basket down the stairs is a sharp pain like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve been in tears in Physical Therapy. Even if they are the Awesomest, some things are just unfixable. Dr. Pevny, Amber and I discussed it for a couple of minutes and came to a conclusion: I needed a knee scope surgery. Basically, he will go in through two little holes, shave down the cartilage and smooth it out. 20 minutes. Put under, crutches for a day. In and out. Easy as pie. One week from today.

I know, really? Another knee surgery? On the other knee? At this point, I just want BOTH of my knees to feel great every day. I don’t want to cringe if I leave something in my house, dreading the 20 stairs I will have to come down after. I want to be able to run again, to hike, to even one day do a triathlon. I’ve hit my deductible. The recovery of a knee scope is 2-3 weeks until I can get back to most things and 6 for a full recovery. It will put me right around 19 weeks from the ACL surgery. And I do believe Amber said at 20 weeks, I can mountain bike?! Seems to be coming together quite nicely. As nicely as two knee surgeries and a cyst incident all in five months can be…I guess…

Maybe I will let my life get in the way for a little bit. Focus on these other things, take my mind off of 6 more weeks of rehab and another surgery, another set of endless medical statements and bills. The good news is they got hot pink kinesio tape in PT, so my knees are covered in criss-crossed designs which definitely fit my personality. (You know, bubbly and fun?? Right? RIGHT??) Summer is just about here which means “go time” for those of us who live in a seasonal town. It might be insanely busy, but at least these things will be a distraction for the time being. Something else to focus on… 

That is, in between my PT sessions and the exercises that will allow my body to one day feel great again. I can’t wait for that day.

Seriously, hot pink? Of course I want hot pink!

My knee feels better. In a slow, “I’m trying to be as patient as possible” type of way. Its been just about 5 weeks since surgery which means I am a little over 1/6 of the way through the rehab process. (Thanks to Dr. Pevny for pointing that out last week!) It’s getting easier. I don’t have to wear the brace anymore (except for in crowded places and honestly in that case, I should just leave before I have a panic attack anyways). It doesn’t take five minutes to get it going normally on the bike, down to about a minute. I don’t wake up in too much pain although my knee does still get stiff after long periods of sitting or standing or laying. Chris said that around week 8 is when people start to get hurt. You begin to feel great, like yourself again, you are riding the bike normally, doing all of the exercises and feeling ready to take that next step. And then you push it.

I know the feeling. I feel like pushing it every day. With the nice weather, I just want to run, hike and bike outside. I can’t do any of that and I’m impatient. You know how many times I have heard someone say “time heals all wounds?” This is my biggest obstacle. The hardest thing for me to wrap my head around: the idea of time. Time is something I cannot overcome. I cannot wake up tomorrow and it’s July and I am hiking up the mountain on a beautiful day. So instead of trying to overcome, I have instead tried to deal in the best way possible. A lesson in patience. Something my mom has been trying to teach me since I was probably 3 years old. I’ve never been good at it. I like instant gratification. I like to be able to snap my fingers and make things happen. Sometimes it’s a good thing because I like to get things done. Other times it’s a bad thing. Because I rush and sometimes can be sloppy, not think things through. It happens in work and in my personal life. This time, when it comes to my knee, something that is my livelihood in health and wellness, I have to be patient. I have to…because its only been 1/6^th of the way through and I cannot imagine going through this all over again.

My rehab at The Most Awesomest Physical Therapy on the Planet consists now of manual therapy with Amber followed by a series of exercises, including the bike for about 25 minutes, squats and balance board followed by quad stimulation exercises (my quad control is getting much better), ultra sound  (basically a method of healing that increases tissue relaxation, local blood flow and scar tissue breakdown) and e-stim and ice. All in all, a rehab session can take up to 2 hours. I am so lucky to have it right here at work. I can’t imagine trying to work around that at a different job. It’s a full time job in itself! The manual therapy is what I like the most. It’s like a deep tissue massage- hurts while you’re in it, feels great when it’s over. Amber is the best and always pushes just enough but stops when it’s too much pain. The exercises have progressed—I can put a lot of weight on my knee now during squats, lunges and quad exercises. The bike feels like I’m actually riding a bike normally and not some deformed attempt at trying to get my knee around, wincing the entire time. Best part? My knee almost LOOKS like a knee! It’s scarred and still swollen in some places, but every day it begins to look more like what it once did before this mess.

There is a quote that says, ““Why is patience so important? Because it makes us pay attention.” I am paying attention to my body and when is too much. Paying attention to what the experts say and what everyone who thinks they are an expert have to say. I am paying attention to first hand accounts and what set someone else back in my position. I am learning patience that time will heal. It better, because I can’t overcome it so I have no choice.

I like this. In a cynical way. :)